She Thought Her Husband Was Not Romantic Enough

VALENTINE'S DAY THIS YEAR- (a guest post):
My husband works weekends and Valentine’s is coming up on Sunday and my birthday is the next day. Our church is doing a couple’s Valentines dinner on Saturday and I asked if he could get off.
Then after some deep thinking prompted by the Lord I realized how foolish this was.
Why would I ask him to use up one of his days off to go eat and stay up late so he would have to turn around and go to work the next day tired all so I can say I did something for Valentine’s Day. It was selfish and childish.
I began to really analyze the “why” behind my desire and found that I didn’t really want to go but felt pressured by worldly expectations and I was expecting my husband to be everything… that’s when the Lord really taught me.
EVALUATION OF MY EXPECTATIONS
I think so often that we women are deceived by the world telling us that we must be understood, our emotions justified and our wants met at every turn and any deviation from that means our lives are horrid and our husbands don’t love us.
How destructive this deception is. It creates a false reality that no man can live up to nor any woman can be satisfied. It’s a never ending cycle of disappointment and resentment.
I am ashamed to admit that it has taken 13 yrs of marriage to realize it’s time to step off that carousel and start living in reality. The Lord used our new church to teach this to me.
SHOULD MY HUSBAND BE "EVERYTHING?"
Is my husband my everything? Can he be everything, as in can he be or possess every facet of every man I’ve seen in a romance movie, I’ve read about in a Jane Austin novel or the husbands of my friends? Can’t I get everything in one package?
The answer is no! And that’s okay. That’s reality!!!
The truth is my husband is NOT romantic, he doesn’t plan fancy dinners, vacations or anniversary getaways. He isn’t a sharp dresser. He doesn’t drive nice cars or visit an expensive barber. He doesn’t give out verbal compliments or write love letters. He isn’t good with words nor comfortable with public displays of affection. He isn’t “everything” (as some would count it).
BUT….
He is a good man who is faithful to me. He doesn’t look at porn, at other women nor has or maintains female friends. I never have to check his texts or worry when he’s late coming home from work.
When we make love I know it’s with me only, that he believes our intimacy is special and private. He is confident in his manhood and has no need to cheat or brag about our private life.
He is a good provider and is so generous with any money or bonuses he has earned. He loves our children and dotes on them, fully supports them and always makes a happy Christmas and Birthday for each one.
He is frugal and spends wisely and is soon to be debt free and pass that legacy to our children. He is willing to work long hours so I can stay at home and homeschool. Every one of our needs he pays for without complaint.
He is a man of few words but he works hard and long, he maintains our cars, he mows the yard, and remodels our home. He even blesses me with washing the dishes, changing a diaper, sweeping the floor, doing some grocery shopping, or throwing laundry in the dryer if I’m tired or had a crazy day with the kids.
Most of the time without me even asking.
I HAVE A NEW SENSE OF GRATITUDE FOR MY HUSBAND
I tell you all this because the Lord is teaching me how incredibly selfish I have been, how ungrateful to Him for blessing me with a wonderful husband.
I’ve desired the world’s approval above my God’s approval and destroyed my marriage. Then like an ignorant child I’ve thrown fits and blamed my husband. But God has been gracious to wait on me and discipline me gently.
No my husband is not “everything,” nor should he be. He’s my husband and he’s who God led me to and that’s more than enough for me.

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