Marriage Is Like a Road Trip

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The Peaceful Wife book
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The Peaceful Mom book
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SALVATION IN CHRIST
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THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE VIDEO
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MARRIAGE IS LIKE DRIVING A CAR
Ladies, God places the husband in the driver's seat to be the leader of the family. Not in an abusive or selfish way, but to look out for the best interests of the family and to answer to God personally for the decisions and direction of the family (I Cor. 11:3, Eph. 5:22-33, Col. 3:18-19).
I may be an excellent driver, but no one is a great driver from the passenger's seat. Yes, if there are emergencies (my husband has a heart attack, he is unconscious, he is suddenly not aware of reality and having hallucinations) where I may need to grab the wheel and try to get us safely to the side of the road. Then I may need to get him into the passenger's seat or the back seat and drive us to the hospital.

But generally, it is my husband's responsibility before God to make the final decisions for our family and our marriage. He will answer to God. And I will answer for my willingness to honor God's design and cooperate with my husband's leading (if he is not asking me to sin).
I do have a voice. I can share my perspective, opinions, concerns, ideas, and feelings respectfully with my husband. I can speak up about sin, as I honor God's Word and His instructions (Matt. 7:3-5, Matt. 18:15-17, Gal. 6:1).

I can also pray for God's wisdom for us both and especially for God to help my husband see the way He wants him to go. I can be a godly influence and example. I can inspire my husband and encourage him with my godly femininity through the power of the Holy Spirit living in me.

I am not a weak, wimpy doormat. I am not a slave. I am not "second class." I am my husband's helpmeet and my role is vital to bless my husband and children and to help portray the gospel and draw people into the kingdom of Christ.

As I refrain from a spirit of criticism, a spirit of offense, disrespect, and trying to control my husband, I make it much easier for him to hear God's voice. God's voice is like a GPS giving us instructions. If I am yelling and screaming and arguing, how will my husband hear what God is trying to tell him? How will I hear what He is trying to speak to me, either?

NOTE
For wives in extreme situations where a husband is not in his right mind, is actively addicted to drugs/alcohol, is breaking the marriage covenant by committing adultery, is abusing his wife/children, etc... I encourage these wives to reach out for trusted, experienced, godly help from a Bible-believing counselor, a trusted pastor, a doctor (if needed), or even the police if people are in danger.

There are times when a husband shouldn't lead until he is thinking clearly (ie: if he is high, drunk, recovering from anesthesia, is manic, or psychotic). Or he may not be able to lead until he is willing to repent from significant sin and rebuild trust over time (ie: if he is committing adultery, or trying to harm or kill his wife/children).

RESOURCES
I have many posts on my blog on these topics.
peacefulwife.com/
You are welcome to search for things like:
- Respect
- Disrespect
- Control
- Husband lead
- biblical submission
- submission is not passivity
- abuse of power
- When would I not submit to my husband
- spiritual authority
- A husband and wife's authority in marriage
- What do headship/biblical submission look like at our house?
If you need help with a specific concept, please let me know, I will get you any resources I can to help point you to Jesus, His Word, and His healing.
You can also find several chapters devoted to these concepts in my book, "The Peaceful Wife." (Link at the top.)