Why Some Husbands Don't Lead—10 Common Reasons

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Ladies,
Here are 10 Reasons a Husband Might Decide Not to Try to Lead in His Family:

1. When he has tried to lead in the past, his wife argued, complained, criticized, or was unwilling to cooperate.
2. He may have learned in his family growing up (or from our culture) that the wife is supposed to be in charge.
3. He may not feel confident to lead.
4. He may be afraid there would be no grace for him if he made a mistake.
5. He may believe the culture's lie that for a husband/father to lead is oppressive to his family.
6. He may not know he is called by God to lead selflessly, humbly, and lovingly—following the example of Christ.
7. He may want peace so much that it seems better just to let his wife do whatever she wants to do and go along with her, even if he doesn't always agree.
8. He may feel so disrespected he has given up.
9. He may not feel emotionally, spiritually, or physically safe with his wife.
10. He may feel like it's easier to let his wife lead if she wants the job because then it will be her fault when things go wrong.

GOD'S DESIGN IS FOR THE HUSBAND TO LEAD
But the truth is, God has placed husbands in the driver's seat in marriage to lead their families. Not to be selfish tyrants. Not to treat their wives like slaves. Not because they are perfect or better than women, but because this is God's design to showcase the gospel in marriage.

"The head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Cor. 11:3

These reasons for not leading will not hold water with the Lord. It is still his God-given responsibility. Adam didn't lead well when he could have refused to cooperate with Eve's sin. He caved to her ungodly influence and God held him accountable.
Each of us will be accountable to obey God's Word and to honor His design for marriage—husbands and wives.

MARRIAGE IS TO BE A LIVING PICTURE OF THE GOSPEL
The husband is to represent Christ and the way He relates to the church He loves. He is to be gentle with her—never harsh—loving her with the agape love of God, and being selfless, humble, and fully yielded to the Lordship of Christ, himself. He treats her well out of reverence for Christ, knowing if he mistreats her, God will not listen to his prayers.

The wife is to represent the church and the way she cooperates and honors Jesus. She is to treat her husband with respect out of reverence for Christ. She has a cooperative spirit with his leadership but her ultimate submission is to Jesus. Her husband may never ask her to do anything that would cause her to go against the Lord and His Word.

In God's economy, we all have equal value in Christ (Gal. 3:28) but we have different roles in marriage and in the Body of Christ. It is our differences that allow us to function as one. We have different strengths and weaknesses, different assignments, but the same goal of building each other up, blessing others, and glorifying God.