"Wouldn't I Have to Be Fake to Respect My Man?"
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But God isn't asking us to fake anything. He desires total heart change! He calls us to act in our new nature and He gives us the power we need to do this, if we are willing to trust Him.
His goal isn't:
- "Wives pretend to respect your husbands."
- "Wives use respectful words to your husband while you seethe with bitterness and contempt."
- "Wives respect your husband when you feel like he is loving you the way you want him to."
- "Husbands pretend to love your wives."
- "Husbands use loving words while hating your wife or being apathetic."
It's:
"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (Eph. 5:33).
- It's an unconditional command for husbands to love their wives regardless of what the wives do.
- It's an unconditional command for wives to respect their husbands regardless of what the husbands do.
We are each responsible for our part of the relationship before God. And we will each answer to Him for what we choose to do.
If even one spouse begins to honor the Lord and submit wholeheartedly to His Lordship, amazing things can happen!
The reason God wants husbands to love their wives and wives to respect and be cooperative with their husbands? So that we will accurately portray a living, powerful Gospel message to all who see our interactions (Eph. 5:22-33) for people to see the amazing love of God for all of us. And "So that no one will malign the Word of God" (Titus 2:3-5).
The way we treat our spouse is a way bigger issue than our private relationship. The way we interact with each other has eternal significance and should have Kingdom fruit. Our love and respect for others is also a tangible way for us to show our love and reverence for Jesus.
- Matt. 25:40.
- John 14:22-24
This means my way of thinking, understanding, and communicating all have to change. I can't do this for myself but God can change me!
God doesn't call me to respect or honor sin in my husband's life.
I may have to respectfully address that "speck in his eye," sometimes, once I have finished completely addressing the "beam in my own eye" (Matt. 7:1-5). And he may need to do the same for me. God can use us to sharpen one another if we are willing to humble ourselves.
There are almost always good things about my husband I can begin to respect if I am willing to look for them:
- He is created in the image of God.
- He is a beloved son (or potential future son) of God.
Jesus loved Him so much He came to die for him to provide abundant spiritual life now and eternal life for him.
- He has done good things for me.
- He has strengths.
As I focus on things for which I am genuinely grateful in my husband, as I decide to repent of bitterness and unforgiveness, as I invite God to completely change me for His glory, I can begin to sincerely honor and respect my husband.Then God is honored. My husband is blessed. My marriage is strengthened. Our children are blessed. Those around us are drawn to the Gospel and eternal life. And I am blessed now and in eternity.
NOTE: Respecting our husbands does not mean we stay and allow them to abuse or kill us or our children. God hates violence and abuse and calls husbands to protect their wives and not be harsh with them, not to hate them or be violent with them (Mal. 2:16, 1 Pet. 3:7). If you or your kids are not safe, please get help ASAP! (Husbands should be completely safe with their wives, as well.)
THE ABC'S OF SALVATION
A = Admit you are a sinner and you can’t be perfect and holy enough in God’s eyes to be right with Him on your own. Turn away from your sin.
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Rom. 3:23
B = Believe that Jesus (God in the flesh) lived the perfect life you couldn't live, died on your behalf to pay the price for your sin, and rose from the grave to conquer sin and death. He provided you the way to be right with God – to be forgiven and free from condemnation.
“The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus, our Lord.” Rom. 6:23
C = Confess that Jesus is your Lord – this means, Jesus is now your Master and you live your life for Him and His glory rather than for yourself. You say it out loud to others and you live it from now on.
“If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved.” Rom. 10:9-10
